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1>The author bears no resposibility for any objectionable content(i dont see anything objectionable in there!!) in the article. If u find anything objectionable, kindly close ur eyes while reading it (lets see how u do it!!!)
2>Reading of this article requires patience. Read it if u have it.
How the heart can change? How ur feelings can change? How u can change? Now, before u get down to some of those baba ramkrishna talk, please take the dirtiest, filthiest, rubbish(iest) thing in view in ur hands (I wonder if that thing happens to b a hammer!!), close ur eyes(u will need to!), and like a devout jehadi(i.e. without applying any common sense) bang ur head thrice(in somecases, only twice) with that thing. Then, u r ready to further read the article. Now, after all that shit, lets come down to the point.
A few weeks back,when I commented that I hated pizzas so much that when I saw one I started getting nighmarish visions of rags, started to have convulsions more violent and dangerous than those that I get during chemistry classes,and yes people, believe it or not, I was WRONG. Now, u must b wondering how a hardcore pizza-jehadi turned into a pizza-worshiper. It’s a long story. U need some time to listen to it properly.Here it goes but before that grab some popcorn and start munching(at least pretend to do so!!!!!)
It was a long and lonely night. I was a warrior, defeated and bruised, torn apart by that invincible,horrible, terrible enemy called organic chemistry in the school. Red drops of frustation lined my eyebrows. I felt like dying(not really!!). And then I had an idea. Why should I b defeated by such a f**k**g enemy as chemistry. Why not take on a bigger enemy and declare my supremacy. And it took approximately 0.004576 nanoseconds to realize my new foe. It had to b that repellant #$%#$ called PIZZA. I decided to face it eye to eye my soul fuelled by that invincible desire. All ready and dressed up , I marched towards PIZZA HUT. In 5 minutes, I was standing at its gate all ready to take the enemy by horns and squash it to the ground. It was all “aaj to tu gaya….teri to… ek jhapad lagaoonga….” All Tushar Dutt style.I entered the enemy’s territory. It was a different realm which deserves a new paragraph.
The first thing(or rather “things”) my eyes noticed (they r pretty trained at that) were…uhhhnn.......u can guess it…..cmon……obviously, girls, yaar!!! Forget that god-damn revenge and my so called dreaded enemy called pizza. It was all ------(u know what!!). Look anywhere, and ur sight fell upon a gem(jyot!! U need to check this out). Gems here, gems there, gems up, gems down,gems left, gems down. I decided to take a corner seat(sitting in the middle would have been very painful. Rotating ur neck by 360 degrees all thru the time is not an easy task, I tell u.). The entire landscape visible to my eyes. Then, in the landscape come that rock i.e. the waiter. He quickly burbled ”goo mornin ser watt wud u lik to tak”. Clearly, he had rotted it as we do in exams. “gimme a non-veg piza with anything” I said with my eyes still on the landscape. But this stone was heavy. He didn’t move. He said”heer is da manu. Plaz salact ur choise”. That damn … I don’t wanna get into the details(and by the way, there were all waiters there.No waitresses). I quickly ordered anything…presumably… a non-veg pan pizza with coke and ice-cream. And got back to the real buziness. But I realized that I was not as much curious now. Ur eyes r blinded only in the beginning.After that. They adjust. Then I took a look at other things. It was a really nice and cozy place. Waiters running faster than gargantuan spiders, people shouting like waterfalls, almost half of the ppl deriving pleasure drom seeing the cheese layer over their pizzas stretch rather than eating them. I concluded that it was a cool environment. Till the pizza came, I enjoyed the “landscape” further more.
Then came my dreaded enemy , the Pizza. My immediate rxn was Yuck!!!!. But then I controlled my highly volatile emotions. Took a piece and placed it in front of my mouth (my soul screaming at the pizza “aaja beta…aaj teri khabar leta huun…aaja”). But as soon as it went inside ,I was changed. No more hating pizzas, no more wasting my mental energy calling it $%^&$%#. I realized that this pizza was GOOD real Good. The base was like a crunchy ……(I don’t know what), the chicken pieces mesmerizing, my heart paying homage to that brave chicken,the cheese more stretchable than rags’ ego. It was a divine experience. Really divine. Now, u must b wondering how mucha person can change, arent you??Let me tell u something. Search for a guy who loves chemistry(that will take u a decade at least) and get him to attend a chemistry class in our school and u will realize how much a person can possibly change. Anyways, I enjoyed that pizza and coke and sundae more than I had enjoyed watching those “gems”. It was getting late. I decided to leave absoultely satisfied.
In the end , I paid the bill. I was given a piece of paper on which certain questions were written. For e.g. how did u like our service? How was our food? Etc… There was one more question –“How do u think we can improve ourselves?”. I wrote down :
”Its quite cold in here. Why not get a few waitresses???”
427 Responses to “Viva La PIZZA”
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Rohil
Mr fart. Ab aaya na pizza ka mazza.
u know, abhinav is really a good guy. He didnt notice no gems, all he noticed was dancing waiters. HUH!!!
Also, one would like to mention that Viva La PIZZA is a nice title for an article describing girls at pizza hut.
foaly,
i went with my family
and there were quite a few people from our school there and it would be quite embarrassing to let them see how i eat a pizza. so i took a seat that gave me a view of the roadside. i didn't really have much of a chance of looking here and there, with mummy on one side and didi on the other.
but i have to admit, the dancing waiters was a sight, because i was feeling like a two-yr-old at that pt of time.
As for rohil's article, i don't make too much of it. it seems he's too obsessed with ..... and he never has the right words to describe his feelings. all this is a work of fiction - he didn't go there on his own, he went with his parents, and did you notice the way he suddenly shifted from the gems eating there, to waitresses? that's because he didn't see any of those gems to describe. and it's quite possible ki usko kisi ne aankhen dikha di hon, ya daant waant diya ho, if at all he dared to look at them. the only good thing is, it's got him to change his opinion about pizza. and viva la pizza is indeed a good title.
hey abhi
it seems to me that you are angry at my little mention of you and you pizza hut trip.
Could you please register in your mind THAT I AM NOT ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE FUN OF YOU'
Although, when i actually make fun of you, it really is a fun thing, but that's besides the point.
b-bye
your and not you
before you point out that mistake.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
'arrey i repeated the same comment '
did you get this one, sire?
ok guys, whether fiction or not, the aticle is damn good man. its a piece rohil(may be nicer than the piece of cheesy pizza). and i dont know how u guys always end up fighting. anyway the article is too good.
chill people!!! i didn't mean to offend anyone, i was just trying to have some fun. really sorry - and i expected something like this kind of a response. There are a few clarifications to be made, before this becomes a really heated fight.
1. foaly, i am not angry with you. i think i understand you more now after the cheapster thingy.
2. maitreyee, i agree with you, the article's well written, very obviously and evidently better than mine at least. I have also previously admitted that I don't quite have the jugular 'VEINS' that rohil and jyot have.
3. ok now, rohil, i wrote all that because it was what i felt on reading the entire thing AND after that conversation with you on REDIFF Bol, so there should be a tinge of all that was exchanged between us during that chat. But it was all in good spirit, not to offend you - mind you, i was the one who gave you the following comment which evoked anger/jealousy in Jyot because I did not comment his article as generously:
Hey Rohil
That article is one hell of an attempt - it's wicked, it's cruel, it's fun and it's true!
So, I'd better start gearing for some more secret leaking! Kidding.
Gr8 job buddy!
Abhi
4. Well, i may be obsessed with grammar and pronunciation, at least i don't mind admitting it! i may be shake-ass-pear, but at least i made you see two visions and enjoy my piece of work whatever it was.
5. Dancing waiters, I (as in Abhinav) think was a nice thing because it lifted my mood to quite an extent, which your gems could not have done. it's not that i don't appreciate gems, but i didn't get into Pizza Hut literally looking for (or at) them. And i don't think it renders me any less respectable.
6. "ALL I WANT IS PRAISES FOR MYSELF" --- let's see. I don't think I forced you to give me positive comments for my poem. you could have called it CRAP and i wouldn't have said a thing, because that's what you make of it and it's fine with me. And, if you say that i am the one who wants all the praises, look who's talking! I made one negative comment (and that too for fun) and look at the outburst.
there's more...
7. I think it's all over now. I really liked your article - you didn't notice i commented about the good title. I think we all have our own styles (of writing, of looking at life - and dancing waiters - and also of finding polished gems) and whether we agree or disagree with them, we must respect each other's viewpoints.
I hope all's clear and the molten material is cooling off. Come and get your notes man, they're getting rusted.
artemis, i made that long explanation to clear some doubts. it seems you don't wanna talk to me... cos you've ignored me completely in the above two comments - but believe me, i had no intentions of hurting your feelings or anything. don't be so mad. i'm sorry if i did that but i didn't mean it. i thought over it afterwards and came to the conclusion that i might have been wrong.
and your notes... even if you don't want them, take them away from me, cos they're taking up space in my house. also, it seems you forgot you've gotta get them photocopied for foaly.
bye and see you in school (perhaps even talk to you).
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